Goodbye 2012

So tonight we say goodbye to 2012. All in all it was a pretty good year for me. I got married to the hubster in our long awaited perfect garden ceremony in 50 degree weather (brr for me in my strapless dress) and we are all another year older. Would have been tops if I could have added getting pregnant with a baby shuster to the list to make it an actual list rather than one thing, but oh well.

For both of my children I conceived them in an even year and gave birth to them in an odd year, so here’s hoping that has happened again and that we will find out in 2013 we got this whole mess over with in 2012! Then I can turn this blog into a pregnancy blog instead. Believe me it will be no boring oh I am so pregnant and glowy blog either. I will deliver drama. Most likely trips to the hospital and pre term labor and me almost dying daily. sure not to disappoint.

I do want to talk/complain about one thing I do not care for at all in regards to attempting to keep the world populated and that is the fact that you have to do it based on your body’s itinerary. Sometimes I am briefly angry with Mr. Shu but that would be the exact time I have to ovulate wouldn't it. And of course I want to pout and still be upset with him until he comes around and apologizes but who has time for that?! Not my ovaries for one. I was prepared for it not to be so romantic. We have two kids were used to romantic relations being a rare occurrence. I just wasn’t prepared to feel helpless in the sense that I felt like if I don’t have sex right now while I am furious with you we wont get a baby and that will make me even more angry. Anyway I guess it helps me get over things faster and get my priorities in order.

In any case I am off to watch the final season of GOSSIP GIRL. Best guilty pleasure there is. how did the CW come up with it....

I may be watching too much of it though because I have a barely controllable urge to sign off on all my Facebook status updates and this post with

you know you love me, xoxo
Gossip Girl

Virgin Post

So this is my very first post in my secret blog that more than likely no one will ever read. My husband suggested I start blogging about our journey to add to our family but I hesitated. He said of course everyone would want to read about us trying to make babies but I think it's a tad bit awkward and conceited to think anyone would want to read about my life. Of course this is complete hypocrisy as I am addicted to trying to conceive blogs but I digress.

I am a twenty four year old mother of two bablets that are my husbands children only in our hearts. Derrick and I have been married for only about two months but for the past two years have not been practicing any form of birth control.

In June, June 4 2011 to be exact, we found out we were expecting our first baby. By June 6 2011 we found out we were not expecting our first baby. But that is a post for another day. The point is there has been nada since. So now we begin our journey of trying to make le bebe. I know I'm different then other people trying to conceive, but I want it just as badly. Just because I already have two precious little boys in my life doesn't mean my heart doesn't ache for a baby with my husband. I'm not greedy, I just want to love more children because as I always say love as many people as much as you can, it perpetuates joy. But Michelle Duggar might be overdoing it. I said it.

I also work for an adoption agency so yes I know it's an option, one we have not ruled out. But we would like to have the oppourtunity to try the conventional way because I really want to see part of my husband in a small human because I have never had the experience of enjoying seeing a child look like his father and treasuring it fully. More like wincing and hoping they look more like me in their later years, for their sakes.

Next step is to see my fabulous OBGYN and most favoritist doctor that delivered my youngest son Kylen. She is amazing. When I got my new insurance through my work and saw she accepts it I was giddy, until I called to make an appointment. Its December, and she is scheduling for June. That's how good she is. Luckily I have a little preexisting stage 3 pre cervical cancer that's like those disabled passes at Disneyland. I got to cut the lines and see her next Friday January the 11th. I have never been so excited to put my feet in those stirrups.

Keep you updated no one in particular!