I quit my Job.
sort of.
I resigned my position with my work as a Family Specialist. It was crazy stressful. I was constantly going into work on Saturdays to either recruit foster families, catch up on paperwork, attend mandatory SATURDAY trainings or go to work parties (the parties were the hardest ;D ) I was constantly behind on my work and I felt like at any moment they were going to say YOU ARE AWFUL and I was trying so so hard.
I also had a horrible foster family tell me I was a lying when I said my job was to be there to support the foster children and I have no compassion blah blah blah so I was like you knooooow, I work very hard and I have compassion for just about EVERYONE. I'm liberal like that! And I love these kids I do. I had to tell myself I was a good person.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I work in a job where I need to tell myself I have compassion and I am a good person? Uhhhh this isn't working out. I don't want to be inducted into the sainthood but I want to do work that people can recognize is helping them, or helping someone. They don't have to tell me, but don't tell me I am not doing that, that just don't work for me.
So I gave my notice. And I left and people were actually sad. I stayed on as what's called a respite provider though, I watch foster kids in my house (Yay legit work from home!) through my former foster care and adoption agency. So I left, but I didn't.
I also work occasionally in our Tucson office doing data entry two days a week. I get paid for the commute too and I get to ride in the passenger seat of our QA lady's nice infinity.
So I made the right choice. Because as some of my well-meaning-but-I could-so-scream-at-your-perfect-24-year-old-never-tried-to-have-a-baby-in-your-life-perfect-hips-for-it-though-face coworker said "Just stop stressing and it will happen!"
Great. Let me get right on that. If I stop stressing maybe my husbands testosterone will magically increase. Maybe the lining in my uterus will magically fatten right up.
And maybe if I relax reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally hard, I wont even have to have sex at all right? Because as soon as you stop trying you will get pregnant! So there you have it folks! you actually have to STOP having sex if you want to get pregnant!
You heard it here
But I am doing my best to relax and go with the flow. No I will not stop trying, because that is ridiculous. If you wanted to win a radio contest and you had to be caller 10 would you stop calling? Like okay if I really want to win those tickets, I need to stop calling them and they will call me. Uh no! not going to happen!!
So to end I will share this list of things people say to infertile people from the perspective of if you were saying it to a paraplegic. Makes you think.
As soon as you buy a wheelchair, I bet you'll be able to walk again!
You can't use your legs? Boy, I wish I was paralyzed. I get so tired of walking, and if I were paralyzed I wouldn't have to walk anywhere!
My cousin was paralyzed but she started shaving her legs in the other direction and she could walk again. You should try that.
I guess God just didn't mean for you to be able to walk.
Oh, I know exactly how you feel, because I have an ingrown toenail.
Sorry, we don't cover treatment for paraplegia, because it's not a life-threatening illness.
So... when are you going to start walking?
Oh, I have just the opposite problem. I have to walk everywhere I go!
You're just trying too hard. Relax and you'll be able to walk.
You're so lucky... think of the money you save on shoes.
I hope you don't try those anti-paralyzation drugs. They sometimes make people run too fast and they get hurt.
I broke my leg skiing, and was on crutches for weeks, and was worried I'd have a permanent limp, but I'm 100% healed.
If you just lose weight your legs will work again.
If you would just have more sex, you could walk!
You are just trying too hard to walk. Give up, and then you'll walk.
Here, touch my legs for good luck, then you'll walk!
Just take a vacation, and the stress-break will be sure to get you walking!
Don't say these things people. Just don't. Just say "I don't know what you're going through (unless you do) But it must be a bitch! I hope you get pregnant soon and also I love you!:
Unless you know, I like barely know you. Then its weird that you are confessing your love to me and I will doubt the sincerity because I will feel like you just blurted that out because I am barren and you feel awkward talking about it.
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