I Lied

So I lied, I did not blog again before I tested.

I know I am horrible and I have left my invisible audience in such suspense.

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I am not pregnant this month!

Sadly/Happily my mom friend that was trying to conceive again got her positive pregnancy test this month so I am out in the desert of difficulty conceiving alone. Someone come get me please.

My mom friend told me she started trying this new herb the month she got pregnant and she thinks its what helped her.

Its called Vitex Berry and she got it at whole foods from the brand Gaia. Well I went to whole foods and they were out of capsules so I bought the drops. I am here to tell you do NOT BUY THE DROPS! You need 30-60 drops 3-4 times a day and there are only 60 servings of 30 drops per bottle.

I tried it for a few days but the drops are disgustingly unbearable so I ordered the capsules online (they were cheaper than at whole foods- plus free shipping.)

So I am trying that now. I have heard good results but honestly I am not getting my hopes up too high because I honestly think she got pregnant this month because its her second month of trying, and it has always taken me three months of doin' it to get er' done. Only in this case, its been about 40 months and nothing.

Also I want to add Derrick chose not to continue with the Clomid, because his sperm count was not affected and we had to pay TOTALLY OUT OF POCKET. And obviously I chose not to continue with Clomid either, as I had just about the worst ever mood swings. I was so on edge and frustrated and emotional it was truly awful. I lost my temper easily with my children and the first time I threw a remote because my youngest didn't want to pick up the apple he threw on the ground I knew there was no way I would take it again. ever.

less dramatic side effect was that my face broke out something terrible. So yes, I want a baby. But I also want to enjoy my life and love my children and husband. So I will have to find another way.

I did get a little gem at whole foods though that I have always threatened D I would get, and that is Horney Goat Weed. Love it. I got the one that is also the Gaia brand and it has done wonders. D says its bizarre to him how often he wants to baby dance so I am one happy customer.

I also am back on the ovulation tests because it drove me nuts last cycle that I didn't know for sure if I have ovulated and then I was freaking that I ovulated later than I thought and we had tapered off on the sex and I missed it. So I learned my lesson, I always have to know exactly when I ovulated, and I need a P stick to tell me for sure.

Ovulation tests: Keeping Kate sane since she stopped avoiding getting pregnant.